Living Outside the Box

There’s a popular song being played on the radio right now where the singer - a young woman - is bemoaning the fact that the object of her desire doesn’t notice her. She compares herself to the woman who does have his attention, noting “she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers,” and longingly wishes for him to see what’s right in front of his face.

As this song began to be played in frequent rotation, I found myself becoming annoyed with it. Not because the man can’t see the singer for who she is; that’s an issue for another day. No, I’m annoyed because the singer has so narrowly defined herself. Why does she have to be one or the other? Why can’t she be both the girl who wears sneakers and the one who wears high heels? Why can’t she be fully dimensional with many different sides?

This juxtaposition works as a metaphor in the song, but in real life we need to stop putting ourselves in boxes. This type of thinking limits us. We need to look at ourselves differently and recognize all the facets of our personalities. We need to explore who we are and experience whatever it is that intrigues us, no matter whether or not it is conventional to do so.

A few years back a group of us were trying to organize a horseback riding excursion. One friend stated, “black people don’t ride horses.” Why not? Who said? Show me where this rule is written down. Why do we put limits on ourselves and then become upset when others try to limit us? Those of us who went had a great time (well except for the one friend whose horse decided it was time to head for the barn, even though it wasn’t time to head for the barn).