How Time Flies

My goddaughter moved in her college dorm on Friday. I went along with her and her mom where I embarassed her taking pictures, helped get her room set up and marveled that she was old enough to go to college.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was moving into my first dorm room. It certainly doesn't seem to be that long since I went to hospital and held her for the first time. I remember the three year old arguing with me about whether the birds at the pond were ducks or geese (I was right but I finally gave in because she was convinced). When she was eight, we made our own icing for our Christmas cookies. It was a little thin and runny, but we ate them anyway. She's been my partner in many adventures when her mother generously allowed me to "borrow" her and introduce her to my many hobbies.

When I worked in the tourism industry, I took her along to festivals, reenactments and other great sites in the state. And now, she's attending Westminster in Fulton, site of Winston Churchill's famous Iron Curtain Speech. The memorial and a piece of the Berlin Wall occupy prominent places on the campus. It's a true tourism destination in our state.

I'm excited for her as she starts on this new journey. And if my tourism exposure didn't get her interest before now, then being on a campus with a lot of tourists coming through might.

Living Outside the Box

There’s a popular song being played on the radio right now where the singer - a young woman - is bemoaning the fact that the object of her desire doesn’t notice her. She compares herself to the woman who does have his attention, noting “she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers,” and longingly wishes for him to see what’s right in front of his face.

As this song began to be played in frequent rotation, I found myself becoming annoyed with it. Not because the man can’t see the singer for who she is; that’s an issue for another day. No, I’m annoyed because the singer has so narrowly defined herself. Why does she have to be one or the other? Why can’t she be both the girl who wears sneakers and the one who wears high heels? Why can’t she be fully dimensional with many different sides?

This juxtaposition works as a metaphor in the song, but in real life we need to stop putting ourselves in boxes. This type of thinking limits us. We need to look at ourselves differently and recognize all the facets of our personalities. We need to explore who we are and experience whatever it is that intrigues us, no matter whether or not it is conventional to do so.

A few years back a group of us were trying to organize a horseback riding excursion. One friend stated, “black people don’t ride horses.” Why not? Who said? Show me where this rule is written down. Why do we put limits on ourselves and then become upset when others try to limit us? Those of us who went had a great time (well except for the one friend whose horse decided it was time to head for the barn, even though it wasn’t time to head for the barn).

Finding, and following, your passion

I went to see Julie and Julia today and I have the book on hold at the library. It was such a cute movie.

I really liked how the main character figured out a way to combine her passions for food and writing. She made it work and it worked out well for her.

That got me to thinking about how I could follow my passion. I love traveling and exploring new places, experiencing neighborhoods and restaurants serving local food. I love reading mysteries and the NFL. I am a contradiction.

So how do I combine these passions and take my life in a new direction? I'm not entirely sure, but I'm going to figure it out. Just like Julie and Julia did.

The Wonderful Word “No”

It’s one of the first words we learn. As toddlers, we utter it frequently and with strong emphasis. And yet, by the time we become adult women, we are afraid of it.

We shouldn’t be. Instead we should use it judiciously, to save our sanity, protect our health and maintain balance in our lives.

The word “no” is drummed out of us as little girls. Be nice. Be sweet. Don’t be mean. Don’t be selfish. Share.

All great concepts used to socialize us and make us fit to live in “polite society.” But little girls are molded to go the extra step and put others first.

By the time we’re adults, we don’t know how or we don’t feel comfortable taking care of ourselves. “No” is not a reglar part of our vocabulary. It needs to be.

We have to bring back the word “no.” When you’re overworked, stressed, worn out, taken advantage of or just flat being used, just say "NO."
No, I can’t head up that project. No, I can’t drive the carpool this week. No, I can’t carry your burden for you.

It feels selfish. But it's necessary.