A Real-Life Love Story

This is a real-life love story.

Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for a woman I've known my entire life. She was 101. Her husband passed in 2000; he was 96 or 97.

They were still traveling the world in their '80s. They, along with a few other seniors I've known, are the reason why I don't think of people in their '60s and '70 as being old.

All my life, this couple just was (If you know what I mean). They just seemed to have been made for one another. When I learned their entire story, this seemed even more so.

It seems they had first met in college, but someone's parents didn't approve. They went their separate ways, marrying others. She divorced. Something that wasn't done much in that time. He and his wife had a daughter.

His wife died suddenly after their child was grown. He reconnected with his(true?) love. His daughter gave her blessing; she was off living her own life.

Of course the townspeople were "appalled." People always have stuff to say. But they were married a year later. They were together for 41 years. I can't imagine either of them with anyone else, because that's all I ever saw.

The lesson in this for me is that you must live your life for yourself and stop worrying about what other people think or say. If they had listened to the folks, they would not have been together and had all those years.

She nursed him at the end of his life when his health declined. At his funeral, she stood there ramrod straight (her posture was as good as any Marine's). Now, they're together again.

This is a real-life love story.

From one extreme to the other

I partipated in a facilitated discussion today about women, love and life. It was sponsored by Zeta Phi Beta sorority at Lincoln University.

The conversation ranged over a wide variety of topics. At one point though, one of the women remarked on the lyrics of current music. Many of us felt the music was inappropriate and not respectful of women.

Later I plugged in my iPod and dialed up my Jackson 5 greatest hits. In the song "Maybe Tomorrow," MJ poignantly sings "You are the book that I read. You are the song that I sing. You are the four season of my life." While he was only around 12, he really touches you as he sings.

What happened to that kind of music? And what does it say about us that we now shake our behinds to "back that thing up?"

I left that gathering and attended the football game between Lincoln U and Morehouse. Known as "The House," Morehouse is one of the more prestigious HBCUs in the nation, counting men such as Martin Luther King, Jr., among its alumni. Lincoln, once known as the "Black Harvard of the Midwest," has turned out its share of successful alumni as well.

Today, LU did not perform well on the football field, though the Marching Musical Storm put on yet another fabulous performance at halftime. As is often the case at HBCUs, no one gets up at halftime, but stays to enjoy the show.

A marching band battle

I recently took my favorite nine-year-old to see the Battle of the Bands between Lincoln University of Missouri and Langston University. Both bands put on a quite a show, and for two hours were treated to music, dance moves and cheering. The only drawback was that we were inside the gym. That made the two powerful units even louder than necessary.

The nine-year-old wanted to know if the competition was going to be like the movie Drumline? She had a ball and was very impressed. She can't wait for more.

I am so proud of Lincoln's band. My soror is the band director, and they are the bomb! They're currently competing to go to the Honda Battle of the Bands in Atlanta. I am spreading the word through Facebook, Twitter and every other social network I know telling people to vote for LU.

So do it today and every day through the end of October. www.HondaBattleoftheBands.com

How Time Flies

My goddaughter moved in her college dorm on Friday. I went along with her and her mom where I embarassed her taking pictures, helped get her room set up and marveled that she was old enough to go to college.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was moving into my first dorm room. It certainly doesn't seem to be that long since I went to hospital and held her for the first time. I remember the three year old arguing with me about whether the birds at the pond were ducks or geese (I was right but I finally gave in because she was convinced). When she was eight, we made our own icing for our Christmas cookies. It was a little thin and runny, but we ate them anyway. She's been my partner in many adventures when her mother generously allowed me to "borrow" her and introduce her to my many hobbies.

When I worked in the tourism industry, I took her along to festivals, reenactments and other great sites in the state. And now, she's attending Westminster in Fulton, site of Winston Churchill's famous Iron Curtain Speech. The memorial and a piece of the Berlin Wall occupy prominent places on the campus. It's a true tourism destination in our state.

I'm excited for her as she starts on this new journey. And if my tourism exposure didn't get her interest before now, then being on a campus with a lot of tourists coming through might.

Living Outside the Box

There’s a popular song being played on the radio right now where the singer - a young woman - is bemoaning the fact that the object of her desire doesn’t notice her. She compares herself to the woman who does have his attention, noting “she wears short skirts, I wear sneakers,” and longingly wishes for him to see what’s right in front of his face.

As this song began to be played in frequent rotation, I found myself becoming annoyed with it. Not because the man can’t see the singer for who she is; that’s an issue for another day. No, I’m annoyed because the singer has so narrowly defined herself. Why does she have to be one or the other? Why can’t she be both the girl who wears sneakers and the one who wears high heels? Why can’t she be fully dimensional with many different sides?

This juxtaposition works as a metaphor in the song, but in real life we need to stop putting ourselves in boxes. This type of thinking limits us. We need to look at ourselves differently and recognize all the facets of our personalities. We need to explore who we are and experience whatever it is that intrigues us, no matter whether or not it is conventional to do so.

A few years back a group of us were trying to organize a horseback riding excursion. One friend stated, “black people don’t ride horses.” Why not? Who said? Show me where this rule is written down. Why do we put limits on ourselves and then become upset when others try to limit us? Those of us who went had a great time (well except for the one friend whose horse decided it was time to head for the barn, even though it wasn’t time to head for the barn).

Finding, and following, your passion

I went to see Julie and Julia today and I have the book on hold at the library. It was such a cute movie.

I really liked how the main character figured out a way to combine her passions for food and writing. She made it work and it worked out well for her.

That got me to thinking about how I could follow my passion. I love traveling and exploring new places, experiencing neighborhoods and restaurants serving local food. I love reading mysteries and the NFL. I am a contradiction.

So how do I combine these passions and take my life in a new direction? I'm not entirely sure, but I'm going to figure it out. Just like Julie and Julia did.

The Wonderful Word “No”

It’s one of the first words we learn. As toddlers, we utter it frequently and with strong emphasis. And yet, by the time we become adult women, we are afraid of it.

We shouldn’t be. Instead we should use it judiciously, to save our sanity, protect our health and maintain balance in our lives.

The word “no” is drummed out of us as little girls. Be nice. Be sweet. Don’t be mean. Don’t be selfish. Share.

All great concepts used to socialize us and make us fit to live in “polite society.” But little girls are molded to go the extra step and put others first.

By the time we’re adults, we don’t know how or we don’t feel comfortable taking care of ourselves. “No” is not a reglar part of our vocabulary. It needs to be.

We have to bring back the word “no.” When you’re overworked, stressed, worn out, taken advantage of or just flat being used, just say "NO."
No, I can’t head up that project. No, I can’t drive the carpool this week. No, I can’t carry your burden for you.

It feels selfish. But it's necessary.

Change - It's Good for You

We all know the old adage – if you do what you’ve always done, you‘ll get what you’ve always gotten. Have you ever thought about what that really means? It means you’ve got to change.
Change.
We resist it. We fight it. Often it is inconvenient. Sometimes it terrorizes us.
But out of change has come some of the world’s greatest innovations.
We can’t move forward in our lives without change. If we want to improve our health, we must make changes to our lifestyles. If we want to improve our positions in life, often we must seek out more education, get a degree, change jobs or strike out on our own.
Without change, America would not stretch “from sea to shining sea.” Yes, there were many negatives along the way, but this westward expansion created the country we live in and the opportunities we now experience.
We shouldn’t shun change, we should embrace it. Yes it can be painful, but it’s like eating your vegetables. It’s good for you. It causes you to grow. Even in the worst of circumstances, change can have a positive impact on your life. Especially when you can’t see the eventual outcome
So what change should you be embracing? What will make your life better? Figure it out and then make it happen. I found this unsourced quote on the Internet, but I’m making it my new motto “Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

Making a plan . . .

I am inspired by the many entrepreneurial women I've encountered and read about. And it has pushed me to try my own hand at starting a business. What do I want to do? I certainly won't be selling my knitted scarves. LOL

But what do I know? Writing, public relations, travel. So I am exploring branching out into those areas. It seems the direction to go. Much research to do; I have to come up with a business plan and then marketing and communications plans. A Web site is mandatory. I do have a somewhat catchy name (I'll unveil that later) but I need a logo. There's so much to do.

I'm gonna give it a go. Stay tuned. I'll keep you informed.

Relay for Life

Spent the evening at the Cole County (Jefferson City, Missouri) fairgrounds for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life event. This is a truly worthwhile annual event that raises funds for cancer research.

The event is designed to mimic the cancer patient's journey through cancer. It begins early evening and continues overnight. The teams are asked to have at least one member walking all night to symbolize the fight against cancer through the darkest hours of the night until the sun comes up the next morning.

Each year since 2003, my sorority(Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.) has fielded a team and participated. Now we're all a little too "prissy" to camp out (my definition of camping is a hotel)but we still want to take part in this important event. Who doesn't know someone who has been touched by cancer?

So each year we raise money, show up and participate in the event and leave about 10:30. We sleep in our own beds. LOL

No matter - if you have a chance to support an event such as this, please do. It's certainly worth it.

National Fist Bump Day

Just learned that there is a movement underfoot to make tomorrow National Fist Bump Day. It's to commemorate the fist bump between Barack and Michelle Obama one year ago.

So keep it in mind tomorrow if someone offers you their fist. LOL

http://www.nationalfistbumpday.com/

It's Officially Official

Yay me! I received my final grades. I have successfully completed my master's degree in communications management.

I participated in the graduation ceremony, but at that point, I hadn't submitted my thesis.

Now, I'm just waiting on the school to mail me my degree

Here's a picture of me and a classmate that I swiped off the school's Web site. Ha! We were posing with our (empty) degree folders.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

We’ve all seen the signs on the highway when road construction is taking place. Well, the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) is designed to put lots of tax dollars to work stimulating the economy.

The Act is approximately 800 pages and covers a wide array of topics. There is money for established federal programs, such as unemployment and Medicaid. There is stabilization money to help states balance their budgets and then there are competitive grants that will do things like bring broadband access to rural areas or weatherize houses.

The intent is to get money moving through the economy and create jobs.

In March, I was at my sorority conference when our international president asked how many people in the audience had read the Act. A handful of people raised their hands. I put mine up halfway because I have a copy in my office. I’ve skimmed it because my boss is the “Stimulus Czar” for Missouri.

On my drive home, the wheels in my brain started to turn. I suggested to the sorority that we sponsor a presentation on the Act so that everyday folks could have it broken down into digestible bites. I then approached my boss, who agreed.

We invited the other Greek letter organizations and the NAACP to join us in sponsoring the event. So this Thursday in Jefferson City, Kelvin Simmons, Commissioner of the State of Missouri’s Office of Administration, will give a presentation on how Missouri is using these dollars.

We’ll be in the Teleconference Room of the Inman Page Library on the campus of Lincoln University, a historically black college with a phenomenal story of its own.

Come join us - Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.; Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.; Omega Psi Phi, Fraternity Inc.; Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.; Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.; Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc.; and the NAACP. We hope to see you there.

It's Been A While

I haven't shared my thoughts in several months. Quite a bit has happened in that time. I started a new job about three and a half months ago, so tour and travel has not been top of mind.

But, now that I have my feet under me, I'm back. I'll still be sharing some of my great Missouri experiences with you, but now I'll be all over the place, which is how my mind often works.

Oh yeah - I graduated with my master's a couple of weeks ago. I did my degree online through Webster University, and I went to St. Louis for the graduation ceremony, which was at The Muny in Forest Park. What a cool place that was. I'll post the pics tomorrow.

So, I'll try and write more often now. I'm keeping the Missouri Travel Girl moniker, but who knows what I'll say.

It's past my bedtime, so g'nite.

The Life List

Last week I had an interesting conversation with a girlfriend. She has started her "Things to do before..." list and will be marking a big one off this spring with an international trip.

That got me to thinking about all the things I want to do, think I want to do or have thought about doing. Yet, here I am being the same ole me.

So, my question to you is, "do you have a life list?" If so, what's on it? Of course I know I can't base my life list on anybody else's. Then it's wouldn't be my life list.

BUT - I'm basically a nosy person, so if you want to share, I'm game.

I'm gonna have to start putting my list together. I'll let you know what I come up with and when I start marking them off.

My St. Louis Urban Adventure

I recently spent a few days in St. Louis visiting some tried and true tourism attractions and some new spots.

Believe it or not, January is not a bad time to go to the zoo. While it was chilly, the animals were out and about and enjoying themselves. We played peek-a-boo with Sophia, a not quite grown leopard who would run up to the ledge in her enclosure, pop up to the top and then drop back down. We watched the tiger cubs romp in their enclosure with their mother, who wore the world-weary expression of any mom with five kids.

We also visited the Science Center, the Art Museum and the Botanical Garden, all St. Louis icons. We went bowling at a newer attraction, Flamingo Bowl in the loft district on Washington Avenue. Giant screens hung above the lanes tuned to MTV2 and Turner Movie Classics (what a combo, huh?). I can’t bowl to save my life, but it was great fun anyway.

And of course – we ate and drank. We went to Sweetie Pies, a soul food restaurant where you’d think your grandmama was in the kitchen. Generous portions of entrees and sides guarantee you won’t leave hungry. Familiar favorites include fried or baked chicken, greens, mac-n-cheese, cabbage and black-eyed peas. The Riverfront Times ranked it the best place for soul food for 2008.

We stopped for drinks at SubZero on the Central West End. This vodka bar offers more than 250 vodkas and an impressive menu of drinks as well as the some of the city’s best sushi and New American hamburgers.

But the eating didn’t stop there. We lunched at the Historic (and haunted) Lemp Mansion. The Lemps were a prominent St. Louis family in the 1800s who encountered all sorts of tragedy. The mansion is reported to be inhabited by a ghost or two. Who knows, it might be true.

One night I insisted on a Italian and had the best risotto at Bartolinos. We stopped at Modesto on The Hill for drinks first, where I enjoyed sangria for the first time. Yummy.

A good time was had by all. You should try it some time.

Happy New Year!!!

Out with the old, in with the new. Today, I'm going to get a little sappy. Just deal with it.

What are you going to do to make this year better than the last one? While we're all thinking about our lives, worrying about our 401Ks and listening to the doom and gloom coming from the media, take a moment to count your blessings.

Do you have your health? Your family? A job? A job you like? How about a job you love? Do you have the use of your limbs? Are you in your right mind? Are you making the best use of the talents that God gave you? Think about all you have to be thankful for.

And then, do something for someone else. Volunteer at church, a shelter or other community organization. Give of yourself. Share your time and talents. Believe me, someone out there will be so grateful for you. And you will feel so good at the end.

Take care of yourselves. Eat a little bit better. Exercise a little bit more. Love your family a whole lot harder.

Make 2009 your best year.